Govinda has opened up about one of the most painful periods of his life, recalling the emotional turmoil he faced after his mother, Nirmala Devi’s, death in 1996. The actor revealed that his grief became so overwhelming that he once walked into the Narmada River believing he might meet his mother again. Looking back, Govinda said the experience eventually changed his understanding of life, family and his own purpose.
Govinda remembers unbearable grief
Speaking to ANI, Govinda described the period following his mother’s death as one of tremendous emotional pain. Nirmala Devi, a respected Hindustani classical vocalist and actress, died on June 15, 1996, at the age of 69. The actor shared a particularly close bond with her and has often spoken about the influence she had on his life.“I was in a lot of pain. I was in tremendous pain. At that point, I felt that everything was over; that was it,” Govinda said.The loss left him struggling to see a way forward, eventually leading to an incident that he continues to remember decades later.
Why Govinda entered the Narmada River
Recalling what happened at the Narmada River, Govinda said he had become convinced that going deeper into the water might somehow allow him to reunite with his mother.“So, I was at the Narmada River, I thought I would go a little farther into the river and that I would meet my mother again. So, I went into the river.”When asked whether he had been attempting to take his own life, the actor acknowledged the seriousness of the situation.“Kind of. I was deeply attached to my mother. I was too much in love with her.”However, Govinda said he does not personally view the experience only through the conventional understanding of suicide.“That’s what the world calls it. People use suicide type of words. We don’t really have anything like that. Life never ends. It takes on new faces; It takes on new forms,” he said.
A sadhu helped him return
Govinda recalled that a sadhu approached him while he was in the river and helped him come back. The actor remembers the man as Ram Kundal and said his intervention became an important turning point.“He called out to me and came toward me. I came out of the river and he asked ‘What happened, Govind?’” he said.The incident forced Govinda to reconsider his actions and the responsibilities he still had in his life. He eventually realised that his children gave him a reason to move forward.“I realised, actually someone said to me this at that time that I was doing something wrong… And I learned a lesson, I realised that I have to live for my children,” he said.
Mother’s dreams became Govinda’s motivation
According to Govinda, it took him approximately 10 to 15 days to gradually come out of that state of mind. He eventually began to believe that his life still had experiences and responsibilities waiting for him.He also said his mother’s death changed the way he viewed his career and everything that came with fame. Films, acting and stardom no longer carried the same significance for him.“Films is just like toys for me. I shouldn’t say this, I am saying it out of fear of God. Forgive me if I shouldn’t be saying this, and if I am offending anyone… But I believe that films, acting, stardom, heroism, all of it, is a manifestation of God. Whatever we have received, we have received from God, and we are simply acting in it. We have seen all of this, and we were able to experience it.”For Govinda, however, the greatest measure of success was not his stardom but his ability to fulfil the aspirations his mother had for him.“But the real achievement for me was that I could serve my family and my mother. I could fulfil all the wishes she had imagined for me, what she had thought my son Govinda would achieve when he turned 21. That was her dream. And I was able to fulfill it. I saw true heroism in that part of my life. That is a very different way of looking at things,” he said.
Govinda prepares for comeback
On the professional front, Govinda is currently promoting his upcoming film ‘Roopa’, which also stars Komal Rani Swarnkar. The project marks his return to films after a considerable gap.The actor was last seen in the 2019 release ‘Rangeela Raja’. He later featured in the 2022 documentary ‘Naam Tha Kanhaiyalal’. With ‘Roopa’, Govinda is now preparing to return to the screen in a new chapter of his career.
